Kanda Sucks At Poker
by kbbandgirl
Summary: Lavi is trying to set Kanda and Allen up, but how will he do it? Strip poker! Yullen.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: This fic will be comprised of three chapters, most of them on the short side. (There is a companion piece called "Reever Sucks at Poker" which is the KomuixReever aspect of this fic, but you can read each one separately without any trouble. Special thanks to Penguins-in-America-Oh-My, we have a lot of interesting conversations in class, and one of them inspired this. She has also agreed to be my Yullen consultant (since this is my first time writing this pairing).

Disclaimer: I don't own DGM, if I did then there'd be Yullen strip poker (among other things).

****

Lavi had just come back from a lengthy mission, and he had a plan. Lately, he and Lenalee had been contemplating how they could get Kanda and Allen together; it had even turned into a little race between them.

Most of their ideas hadn't made it out of the planning phase, much less gotten off the ground but Lavi finally had true inspiration. Allen had promised to play poker with him sometime, and it was time to call in that favor, but with a twist.

****

"Moyashi!" Lavi called merrily, knocking on the bean sprout's door.

It opened and a slightly disheveled Allen stood there, rubbing his eyes. He yawned, "Lavi? What is it?"

"You promised to play poker with me!"

"Now?" It was after all 4am.

"Yup!" He could see Allen's reluctance so he added, "Jerry said he'd make snacks for us!"

"Oh… okay then!" Allen perked up instantly at the prospect of food.

*****

"Yu!"

Kanda looked up from his soba and glared, trying to will Lavi away. It didn't work. "Stupid rabbit," he growled, "what do you want?"

"Wah! Yu is so mean! Allen needs your help!"

Kanda tensed up a little at that, was he all right? Did he get hurt?

"What? " Though his voice was a little breathy, Kanda was proud that he'd managed to keep his harsh tone.

"You have to play poker with us, Yu!"

"WHAT? I'LL KILL YOU!" his hand went for mugen.

"Don't kill Yu!"

"AGH! That's it, you die now!"

"Wait! Don't you want Allen to be happy?"

To Lavi's great astonishment, Kanda actually paused for a second. "Che, why should I care if the moyashi is happy?"

"Because he'd like Yu more!"

Kanda's eyes darkened at that, surely the stupid rabbit had no idea what he was talking about.

Lavi saw his opening, "Allen really wants to play poker! But it isn't fun with two people. Plus he has a cute poker face. He's like an evil baby panda; you just have to see it, Yu!" His eyes went all sparkly.

Kanda grumbled something that was definitely not very nice but he sheathed mugen, so Lavi dragged him off towards the room he had chosen.

****

Allen was already inside, polishing off frightening amounts of food.

In an odd twist of events, Komui was there too.

"Hiding from Reever again?" Lavi asked with a knowing smile.

Komui nodded solemnly.

The redhead rolled his eyes, "He's going to find you eventually. "

Allen agreed. "He always does. Section leader Reever is good at that."

Right on cue, the door crashed open and a flushed and panting Reever stood in the doorway glaring daggers at Komui.

"Ah! Section leader come play poker with us!" Lavi cheered.

"Yeah, Reever come play!" Komui added (he should have been scared, but he was actually happy to see him).

Reever was too exhausted to argue. "Fine one hand." He plopped down across from the supervisor, "but then your arse is mine! Paperwork doesn't do itself you know."

*****

So the five of them sat down to play poker. Lavi dubbed himself the dealer, and announced that he would be making the rules. He smiled and proudly proclaimed, "All right! It's time for strip poker!"

Allen looked like he was going to faint, Kanda went for mugen, Reever's jaw dropped, Komui did a spit take (with his coffee) and Lavi just sat there grinning like an idiot.

…to be continued.

A/N: Why was Reever out of breath and what does Lavi know that we don't? These questions and more will be answered in the first chapter of "Reever sucks at poker" which is coming soon (ah, shameless plugging). But everything Yullen related can be found here. Sadly, even though KomuixReever is my favorite pairing, not everyone likes it, so I won't force you to read it to get the Yullen you want.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: The first chapter of "Reever Sucks At Poker" is up now if you're interested.

A/N 2: I know it's a little confusing, but Kanda will end up a seme.

Utter pandemonium erupted.

Reever and Allen grabbed Kanda, trying to keep him from slaughtering Lavi, while Komui chuckled in amusement.

Kanda quickly quieted when he realized that the Moyashi was almost flush against him, arms wrapped around his waist (while Reever was holding his arms).

****

Lavi watched the emotions flit across Yu's face with great amusement and curiosity; first anger, then shock, followed by embarrassment and morbid fascination.

As soon as the killing intent had lessened Reever has released Kanda's arms, but Allen was lost in his own little world.

"Moyashi, you can let go now," Kanda said with a wry sort of gruffness.

"Huh? Oh! Sorry!" Allen blushed and reluctantly disentangled himself.

****

Allen was pouting, but only on the inside. He wished he could've held on for a little longer. Kanda was warm and he smelled nice, plus his hair had been tickling his cheek and it was even softer than it looked.

And for once, he hadn't been on the receiving end on the death threat, which was a small miracle.

****

It took some work, but Lavi convinced everyone to stay and play. How? Well he offered a cash prize, and they all agreed to stop at underwear.

Allen wanted the money, and he wanted to see Kanda (mostly naked).

Reever and the supervisor had their own reasons for staying and poor Kanda didn't know about Allen's poker skills, so he decided to stay as well.

****

Lavi flashed a mischievous grin and started dealing the cards.

"You aren't playing?"

"Nope, someone has to deal."

They were playing the half-and-half way (That is every hand two people lose, the other two are spared, and the dealer handles the winnings. It's a lot more fair and fun that way).

The first hand went predictably, Kanda lost Mugen and Reever lost his tie while Allen and (surprisingly) Komui stayed fully clothed.

*****

By the 4th hand Kanda had lost his shirt, Reever had just given up his vest, Komui was removing his supervisor's jacket, and Allen … was untouched of course.

In the 6th hand Kanda had to give up his hair tie.

*****

Allen couldn't stop staring.

Yeah he'd seen Kanda shirtless before, but this time there was no blood or injury involved. The mark on his chest was fascinating.

Somehow, the was the samurai's hair spilled down around him, a soft waterfall in contrast with his stark face, made him seem even more manly.

Allen was getting a little warm, so he willingly 'gave up' his jacket in the next round.

*****

The stupid rabbit was right, Moyashi was a baby panda, an evil and sexy baby panda.

Kanda should have been embarrassed by his lack of poker skills, but it was sort of nice to spend time with Allen in a non-annoying capacity (not that he'd ever admit it).

Though Kanda was a bit upset that he was half naked and that damned, infuriating Moyashi was still clothed.

It was getting rather warm and Kanda found his gaze drawn to the damp hair clinging to the nape of Allen's neck.

It had only a little while since the move, so of course random deserted rooms weren't equipped with things like climate control. Normally the stone walls would keep a room relatively cool, but five people can warm up a tiny room quickly, especially if four of the five are busy drooling.

*****

Komui was surprisingly good at poker; he'd only lost his shirt. Reever, on the other hand was surprisingly bad, but he'd started with more clothing than the rest of them, so he wasn't fairing too badly.

Kanda noticed the predatory looks that Komui was sending Reever. He wondered why he'd never noticed it before, and actually found himself sympathizing with Komui's pain (if only a tiny bit). He shook himself trying to get rid of that eerie feeling.

****

The game continued on, until Kanda, Reever and Komui were left in just their pants (and presumably underwear).

Allen on the other hand was fully clothed (minus the jacket).

Lavi who had been monitoring the atmosphere, declared that the next hand would be the last, after all, at least one person was going to be 80 to 90% naked.

The hand was dealt and, wouldn't you know it, Kanda and Reever lost.

****

Reever dropped his pants, exposing his blue boxers, and quickly pulled them back up.

****

Kanda stood up and turned around, he took off his pants, praying that no one saw his straining erection. They didn't, Lavi was laughing too hard, Komui wasn't even looking his way, and Reever had his own embarrassment to deal with.

Allen's jaw had dropped open and he was desperately trying to refrain from drooling. He'd imagined Kanda wholly or partially naked before (hell, he might be adorable but he was still a teenage boy) but he'd never factored black silk boxers into the equation. The way they clung to Kanda's ass was… damn.

Unfortunately the samurai glanced over his shoulder and saw the was that Allen was staring at him.

"Moyashi! What the fuck are you looking at?"

Allen gulped. Crap he'd been caught! He was just lucky that Mugen was out of reach.

It was time to get out of there. He fled the scene.

Kanda pulled his pants up, grabbed his clothes (and Mugen) and went after him.

*****

Some poor finder was treated to seeing a sweaty Allen being pursued by a half naked, un-ponytailed Kanda, who was attempting to get dressed and storm down the hallway at the same time.

Clearly they'd had a lover's spat, or something. Man, the others weren't going to believe this!

*****

It took a while but Kanda finally managed to corner Allen.

"Moyashi, I asked you a question. What the fuck were you staring at?"

Allen was trying to avoid staring at Kanda's chest (the shirt was back on, but had been left unbuttoned). He swallowed hard.

The bob of Allen's Adam's apple did Kanda in. He growled and pinned the younger boy against a wall.

A/N: One more chapter to go! Any suggestions would be helpful. I've never written a Yullen lemon before. Joe and George would be more than happy to test any ideas (if you're curious, their profiles are on my profile).

A/N 2: Like I said, you don't need to read the other story, but it helps give a better idea of what's going on, so please give it a try (and I'll section off the lemon so that you can skip it if you want to, but it won't be until the 3rd chapter anyway).


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: I finally finished this … on a 20 hour plane ride to Australia (for study abroad this whole summer). Sorry for the delay, but I was busy packing and picking out a place to live (down there/here) that Joe, George and I all liked, and getting permission from the WHO ( the world health organization, not the band) so that I can work at a hospital here(in the lab). And that was just before we left. I've finished other things too, including "Reever Sucks at Poker" I'm trying to acclimate myself, but I'll post it as soon as I get situated and get a hold on my classes.

A/N 2: Oh, and on a side note I skipped honorifics because if I tapped into that part of my brain this whole thing would've ended up in Japanese and you would've opened the first chapter and found a bunch of kanji ( and because English is the order's common language). I also apologize in advance for the crappy lemon…

Kanda was embarrassed so he reacted in the only way he knew. Anger.

Before he knew it, the samurai was chasing Allen down the hall in a pissy rage and managed to corner him.

Allen gulped and the bob of his adam's apple did Kanda in. He growled and pinned the younger boy against a wall, attacking the Moyashi's mouth with his own.

Allen had no idea what was happening, one minute Kanda had been pissed, but now he was kissing him. What the hell?

THUD!

Kanda pulled back, an eyebrow twitching in annoyance. He grabbed a red wrist and started dragging one white haired individual in the direction of their bedrooms.

Allen peaked over his shoulder sheepishly and saw a female finder sprawled out unconscious with a massive nosebleed.

They ended up at the Kanda's door without further incident (well aside from a little bickering over Allen being a "damn slow moyashi"). Kanda glanced (i.e. glared) around suspiciously before pushing them inside.

Allen blinked cutely and rubbed the back of his neck, chuckling nervously.

Kanda didn't know what had come over him (or why he alternated between wanting to brutally murder Allen (or at least kick him) and wanting to fuck his brains out). Eh, what the hell. He set mugen on a chair and stalked towards the shorter boy.

"Uh, Kanda what are you…"

"Moyashi, shut up."

"Why should I-Umph!"

He was pushed back onto the samurai's bed and the older boy hovered over him.

His eyes widened, "Ka-Kanda ! W-what … what are you doing?"

"Having sex with you."

"Oh…. WAIT WHAT?" he sat up a bit. He wasn't sure whether he wanted it to be true or not. How did Kanda know that he'd been thinking about…

He was silenced with a rather aggressive kiss. His jacket (which he had been carrying) was ripped out of his hands and thrown onto a nearby chair.

Kanda pulled away, "Clothes off"

"Um…."

"Moyashi" he narrowed his eyes warningly

"About that…" It wasn't that Allen didn't want to, but one, he hated the nickname and two, his cursed arm was pretty gross looking (in his mind).

Allen's little internal struggle (though adorable) was fucking irritating. Kanda shrugged off his own shirt "Fine whatever; just get the hell outa your pants then!"

The younger boy found this acceptable so he complied. He first took off the vest and tie, then he removed his slacks exposing pretty and pale legs .Allen's shirt, though slim, was quite long and hid his lap from view.

Kanda was very nearly naked by this time. He still had his boxers on and was slowly unwinding his hair tie (he figured he might as well use all the weapons in his arsenal). "Moyashi. Underwear. Off. "

"I-I can't"

Kanda snarled and shoved a hand under Allen's shirt, fully intending to rip them off himself but… all he found was deceptively soft skin.

Allen laughed nervously, "Ah, um I just got back so they're all in the wash…"

Any notions that Kanda might have had about being civilized vanished. He pounced.

In the span of about a second Kanda had teleported out of his boxers, ripped open the top of Allen's shirt (scattering a few buttons in the process), pinned a pair of hands with only one of his, and sunk his fangs into 'poor Moyashi's neck.

Allen moaned and arched his back involuntarily.

A hard... err- thing pressing against his thigh brought him back to reality (or some semblance of it). He really hoped that Kanda knew what he was doing because it'd be really hard for him to explain, not to mention awkward (Lenalee and the "ladies" that hung around with Cross had told him all sorts of stories).

Luckily, Kanda did know. Lavi tended to go on about it when they were trapped on a train together. It was annoying as shit and kinda weird since, as far as he knew, the fucking usagi was the most girl crazy man to ever exist (and he used the weirdest fucking analogies about plants and black and white rabbits and shit). Eh, whatever.

He released his prey and sat up, casting around for some sort of lube. Aha! He got to his feet and strode into his little bathroom.

The moyashi couldn't help but blush when he saw Kanda in his full naked glory. Sadly, he quickly left the room (x-ray vision would've been great). He heard the older teen riffling through some drawers, accompanied by some crashes and muffled cursing.

Good. He had no idea why he'd kept the 'massage oil' that Lenalee had given him, but he was glad he had it (It was probably a hell of a lot better than sword polish…). He stood in the doorway for a second; just looking at Allen sprawled out on his bed. Hmm, something was off…

He stalked towards the shorter teen with a wicked smirk playing on his lips. Allen shuddered a little under his gaze.

Kanda deposited the vial on the bed and without any warning, ripped the Moyashi's shirt off.

Allen freaked out and screwed his eyes shut, expecting some sort of disgusted reaction. Instead, Kanda, who had realized why the other was so self conscious, (affectionately) proclaimed him a "stupid Moyashi" grabbed his shoulders (both of them) and hauled him in for a kiss.

He was damn tired of waiting, so with that taken care of, he grabbed the bottle of lube and popped the cap.

Allen's legs slapped shut.

Although Kanda was amused by the way it made the younger teen's cock bounce alluringly, he was about at the end of his patience. He glared warningly, "Moyashi."

"No. "

"Open up!"

"Uh-uh,"

"Dammit, Moyashi, what the hell do you want?"

"My name is Allen."

"You've gotta be fucking kidding me! You want to do this now?"

The other teen nodded. (This was, after all, his best chance for getting his way.)

"Ugh fine! Allen, Spread your fucking legs!" It sounded more like 'Aren 'but hell, Kanda was fucking Japanese he couldn't fucking help it! It was part of the reason that he wouldn't call the cute bastard 'Allen' in the first place. Eh, oh well if it made him happy fine, but he'd be damned if he said it in front of anybody else.

Allen smiled happily (there was also an evil gleam of satisfaction in there somewhere) and not only did he spread his legs, but he turned over onto his stomach.

The samurai growled and barely managed to restrain himself from just fucking the boy. Instead, he poured some lube onto his hand, hauled Allen to his knees and thrust a finger into him rather roughly, making him wince a little. He felt a little bit guilty (and part of his conscience was berating him for being so rough on his little love), but then he remembered that Allen sort of deserved it, so he kept up his brutal pace and added another finger. After he'd gotten Moyashi comfortable with three fingers, he was sick of waiting.

Allen, who'd begun enjoying his rough treatment, whimpered when the fingers were taken away. But then he heard the click of the lube and a hiss of discomfort as Kanda spread the cold glop on his cock.

They both moaned at the penetration. Allen at the pain/ pleasure of being stretched/ getting his wish and Kanda at the unbelievable tightness that engulfed him.

They both had realistic expectations of how long it would last, so our young samurai set up a rigorous pace, pounding the Moyashi's sweet ass into the mattress.

The managed to hold out for all often minutes (poor dears, they'll get better with experience (which they will get loads of I'm sure)).

Kanda realized that the end was near and reached down to roughly caress Allen's cock. Allen, who had been making all sorts of gasping and mewling noises, came with a strangled cry that might've been "Yu".

That, coupled with the convulsions of the silky walls that he was incased in, sent him over the edge as well. He let out a growl that sounded suspiciously like "Allen". Maybe.

Frankly, Kanda would've been content to just go to sleep and deal with the mess later, but Lavi the fucking public-service-announcement-rabbit's voice popped up and reminded him that that would be rude or something. He'd kill that bastard someday.

So, whatever, he got up (much to poor Allen's confusion) and disappeared into the bathroom before returning with a warm, wet washcloth.

XX

"Oy, Moyashi. Go to sleep."

Allen yawned and snuggled closer (which surprisingly, Kanda not only allowed but encouraged), vaguely wondering when the slur had turned into a pet name.

The next day the cafeteria was abuzz with whispers, stemming from the fact that Allen and Kanda were sitting together, quite closely in fact. But more importantly, aside from various slurping and crunching noises the pair was silent. Allen stuffed his face and Kanda sent murderous glances towards (mostly) innocent people (their legs were even touching under the table!).

The End!

A/N: Uh, Komui and Reever also end up together (I had a little thing with Lenalee coming into the cafeteria and striking up a conversation with our new couple, but it was stupid so I got rid of it).

A/N 2: I had a lot of fun writing Yullen and I plan to do so again in the future. I have a few ideas and I'll most likely begin a new story as soon as the KomuixReever plot bunnies slow down their assault (which might take a while since I currently have 80 story concepts and more than 20 outlines).

Don't get me wrong, I really like Yullen, but I can't relate to it. I'm a scientist and my roommates are Komui and Reever's clones, so that's easy. I have no idea what it'd be like to be an exorcist, so I'm not that creative with Yullen ideas….

(and again, I'm sorry for the bad lemon. Or maybe I'm underestimating / being too hard on myself?)

A/N 3: Reviews are made of love! (and will make me want to write more Yullen)


End file.
